Episode #9: How To Find Time For Yourself As a Busy Mother

Confidence Rockstar Podcast
Confidence Rockstar Podcast
Episode #9: How To Find Time For Yourself As a Busy Mother
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#9 HOW TO FIND TIME FOR YOURSELF AS A BUSY MOTHER

Welcome to 9th episode of Confidence Rockstar Podcast.

In this episode I’m talking about how important it is to look after yourself in your busy mama’s world and how to make it possible.

Click here to listen now

Most women go through life looking after everyone around, having no time left to look after themselves. They feel tired, unfulfilled and pretty sad because they constantly neglect their needs and feelings. Especially mothers. With new arrivals to the family, their life is completely upside down and with time, they may feel that they lost their identity as women.

While it’s natural that there’re changes while woman becomes mother, it’s still crucial to look after yourself, as “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. If you don’t prioritise yourself, sooner or later you won’t be able to look after the ones around you.

So, how to stop this, how to find time and energy to look after yourself in your crazy, busy mama’s world?

Here are some of the highlights of this episode:

  • Why are we programmed to look after everyone else around us so much
  • Why do we constantly neglect our needs, and then wonder why we’re not fulfilled
  • What’s REALLY going on in mama’s world and why are we afraid to say it out loud
  • What’s “wrong with us” as mothers when sometimes we want to run away, where no one, especially our kids can find us
  • Why it’s crucial to talk about our feelings, to ask for support – there’s nothing wrong with you
  • How to get our identity back as a woman
  • How to make yourself a priority and why this has nothing to do with being selfish
  • 5 ways to find time to look after yourself in your busy mama’s life

Have you subscribed to my podcast yet? I’m not, I would love you to do that. I’ll be sharing confidence golden nuggets and invite awesome guests for you, so you don’t want to miss an episode.

Click here to subscribe on itunes.

And if you enjoy the show, I would love you to leave me a review on iTunes. Reviews help people find my podcast. Just click “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and leave a comment what you think about this show. Thank you very much.

Click here to subscribe on itunes

And tell your friend about this Confidence Rockstar Podcast.

Links from the show:

FREEBIE: 5 Day E-mail Course to Boost Your Confidence

Confidence Rockstar Community – FB Group 

Connect with the host Alex Grzybek:

FACEBOOK: Alex Grzybek

FACEBOOK GROUP: Confidence Rockstar

INSTAGRAM: alexgrzybekcoach

LINKEDIN: Alex Grzybek

WEBSITE: www.alexgrzybek.com

Here’s where you can listen to the show:

iTunes

Android

Google Podcasts

Spotify

Castbox

Podcast Addict

RSS

Episode #8: Mothers in Business – Creating the Life You Desire & Deserve – with Linda Attram

Confidence Rockstar Podcast
Confidence Rockstar Podcast
Episode #8: Mothers in Business - Creating the Life You Desire & Deserve - with Linda Attram
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Subscribe: iTunes | Android | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Castbox | Podcast Addict | RSS

#8 MOTHERS IN BUSINESS – CREATING THE LIFE YOU DESIRE AND DESERVE

Welcome to 8th episode of Confidence Rockstar Podcast.

In this episode I’m bringing an amazing guest Linda Attram. For the past 20 years Linda Attram has been running successful property businesses including a multi-million pound property portfolio & is the Founder of Mothers in Business. Linda is a devoted mother of ‘Three Precious Diamonds’ , meticulous businesswoman, author and a public speaker and a 1st Dan Black Belt in the martial art of Taekwondo. She understands the challenges entrepreneurial mothers face & that is why she created ‘Mothers in Business’; to provide a platform for them to grow & feel supported and to create the life they desire and deserve. Linda’s Mission is to Inspire and Empower Women Globally to Be More and Achieve More.

In this episode we’ve talked about: Mothers in Business – Creating the Life You Desire and Deserve

It’s very honest and powerful interview, where we talked about challenges that women face when they become mothers and  how to sucessfully combine motherhood with business.

Click here to listen now

Here are some of the highlights of this episode:

  • Linda sharing her story with us, her journey from humble beginnings, very shy girl, who lacked confidence, self-esteem and identity, who left school with very little education but with a burning desire to change. How she re-educated herself, which led to 18 year career in Human Resources Management, becoming a mother of three and creating a successful property businesses including a multi-million pound property portfolio.
  • Linda’s challenges as a mother, feeling lonely and losing her identity and why she was afraid of saying it out loud
  • Why and how Linda started Mothers in Business – to inspire women globaly that they have the right to feel the way she was feeling and how to change it
  • Linda’s view on combining motherhood with successful business – is it possible? how to make it happen? and how to be happy mother and successful business owner at the same time
  • The biggest struggle for mothers when it comes to starting their own business and how to overcome it
  • How Linda helps women suffering with low self-esteem and low confidence
  • Linda’s number one tip for mothers to increase their confidence
  • Linda’s golden nuggets for mothers to start their own business
  • Why women cannot sacrifice their identity when they become mothers, how it affects our children and future generations

Have you subscribed to my podcast yet? I’m not, I would love you to do that. I’ll be sharing confidence golden nuggets and invite awesome guests for you, so you don’t want to miss an episode.

Click here to subscribe on itunes.

And if you enjoy the show, I would love you to leave me a review on iTunes. Reviews help people find my podcast. Just click “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and leave a comment what you think about this show. Thank you very much.

Click here to subscribe on itunes

And tell your friend about this Confidence Rockstar Podcast.

Links from the show:

Mothers in Business Training Event – 14/03/2020 London/UK

FREEBIE: 5 Day E-mail Course to Boost Your Confidence

Confidence Rockstar Community – FB Group 

Connect with Linda Attram:

Website: www.mothersinbusiness.co.uk

Facebook

Instagram

Linkedin

Mothers in Business Training Event – 14/03/2020 London/UK

Connect with the host Alex Grzybek:

FACEBOOK: Alex Grzybek

FACEBOOK GROUP: Confidence Rockstar

INSTAGRAM: alexgrzybekcoach

LINKEDIN: Alex Grzybek

WEBSITE: www.alexgrzybek.com

Here’s where you can listen to the show:

iTunes

Android

Google Podcasts

Spotify

Castbox

Podcast Addict

RSS

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Mum, Baby and a Six Pack

You’re a mother. 9 months pregnancy, followed by a childbirth and now, you’re holding your little angel in your arms. Completely new situation to you, new reality, new responsibilities and so many insecurities whether you can handle it or not. You’re a first-time mother with no experience with babies whatsoever. But you go with the flow, you manage to survive and your little one seems like she/he is surviving too. After few weeks you feel something is missing. You feel lonely, you feel bored, you feel like you’re doing same thing over and over again wondering whether your life would always look this way?

But you keep quiet. You don’t want to say it out loud worrying that people may judge you for being a bad mother. After all, you love your child to bits. Right?

But still, something is missing, and something is not feeling right…What’s missing is having some time for yourself, some ME time on your own. What’s not feeling right is you not feeling good in your own body, as come on, you’re not pregnant anymore but you still look like you’re. You want to start exercising and getting your body back. You want to be back doing the things you loved doing before having a baby and getting your life back. So, you start looking for ways on how to make it possible.

And then you start, slowly but surely and you begin feeling amazing again. You do your workout, you go to the gym, you take on running, you buy a jogging stroller and start training for a race. Your training schedule is quite demanding, you’re breastfeeding, not sleeping through the night and oftentimes you feel really tired. But you still enjoy it though. Physical activity makes you feel happy, that is you being in your zone, that is you doing what you love doing and that is your time when you can get rid of all the frustrations and challenges of motherhood. So, you stay disciplined, you stay committed, regardless how difficult it may be, how much you need to push yourself to be able to accomplish your goal.

And then results start showing up. You’re losing that baby weight. You start seeing that six pack again. You’ve completed that half-marathon or a marathon and your little one is with you on your picture with a medal. Only you know how challenging that was but also how needed that was for your physical, mental and emotional well-being. You feel on top of the world.

There’re people who look at you with respect, they support you and they cheer on you.  

But also, there’re people who don’t. People who think that you’re selfish, that you’re a bad mother, that you lost your mind and that you need to be having a serious conversation with someone “sensible” who’s going to tell you how you SHOULD behave. And sadly, these people are often mothers themselves…

Because, let’s be honest…

This is not NORMAL to be completing a marathon months after having a baby.

This is not NORMAL to be running with a buggy.

This is not NORMAL to have a six pack quickly after giving birth.

This in not NORMAL to look great and feel amazing as opposed to be totally exhausted and drained.

What is NORMAL… is that as a mother you SHOULD/MUST behave in a certain way. Should and must made by society, culture, religion or someone’s opinion… as a mother you have all those obligations and you’re not allowed to think differently. You should look after the baby, you should look after the husband, you should look after the house, you should look after everyone around you but yourself. It’s a badge of honour to do everything on your own, not asking for help, pretending that you even enjoy it.

How dare you want to have time on your own when your baby needs you 24/7?

How dare you go out doing something that you want, that gives you pleasure when there’s that little human being relying on you?

How dare you fancy exercising and losing that baby weight when it’s normal and even expected to be overweight after having a child?

SERIOUSLY?

I’ve said this before and will repeat it over and over again – if you don’t look after yourself first, sooner or later you won’t be able to look after the ones around you. Why all airlines ask you to put your oxygen mask on first? That’s obvious, that is normal, and everyone is ok with that.

So why it’s not normal when mother wants to have some ME time?

Why it’s not normal when mother wants to go out for a run?

Why it’s not normal when mother wants to exercise, look good and feel great in her body?

Why it’s not normal when mother wants to follow her passion and go for her dreams?

Is she still not the same woman she was before she had a baby?

Has she changed as a person and has no life, no ambitions, no passions, no interests outside of being a mother anymore?

That’s absurd.

Is anyone asking daddy what happens to a baby when he’s working, when he’s playing football, training at the gym or when he’s going out with his peers? No, no one even questions it.

So, why people are having a go at a mother who has her passion, her dreams, her business, and who is organizing her life to make it work.

They don’t know how challenging that may be.

They don’t know how hard she’s been working to make her goal a reality.

They don’t know how much happier as a mother, as a woman and as a person she feels thanks to doing so.

This is insane that in XXI century we have a culture focusing so much on mother’s belly. First, when she gets pregnant, there’re comments whether she’s not too big or not too small, whether she would be able to lose that weight after or not. I love the way Anna from My Baby Care talks about it in her post: My Pregnancy Body Shaming Story. She stresses how one random comment can change the whole perception of a body for a new mum to be. And what consequences that may have. When that mother finally has her adorable baby, there’re comments whether she can train or not, whether she’s lost her baby weight too fast or not at all, whether she’s allowed to have a six pack or not, not yet. This is crazy. Why mother’s belly is such a hot topic? Can we not leave that mother alone, stop gossiping, stop making her feel guilty regardless of what she’s doing. It seems it’s never good enough. When she’s big – that’s wrong, when she’s small – that’s wrong, when she trains – that’s wrong, when she doesn’t – that’s wrong. Whatever she does – that’s wrong…really?

Although I’m far from idealising skinny model bodies pushed by the media, I’m also far from the opinion that it’s ok to be overweight when you just had your baby. That this is ok to have dirty hair, wearing maternity clothes long after giving birth, stop looking after yourself all together and feeling miserable. And then complaining with other mothers how hard motherhood is, gossiping about the one who is passing you by with a jogging stroller. No, I’m not ok with this at all. 

I know how challenging motherhood can be, I know it’s a constant roller coaster when one minute you feel like a super hero, and the other crying your eyes out with powerlessness. I know it’s challenging to find time and energy.

I’m not saying that you HAVE TO be skinny, having six pack few weeks after giving birth or completing a marathon. However, you can if you want to, that it is possible. There’re mothers out there who make it possible. If you want to be one of them, take action. And if you don’t shut up and stop commenting on mothers who do take that action every single day. Maybe when she is exercising and sweating to burn that fat off, you’re sitting on the sofa with a box of ice creams, watching Netflix?

Respecting people is giving them a space to live how they want to live, to do what they want to do. There’s no one way of thinking, no one “right” way of motherhood. Mothers have the right to have big belly after having baby and mothers have the right to have muscular body and six pack as well. And they have the right to show it off, to wear those shorts, to post pictures about their races, to be proud of themselves, not guilty because someone may feel not good enough. They’ve been working hard to look the way they look or to accomplish their goals. 

I really dream about the world where everyone gives mothers permission to look after themselves, after their needs, to make themselves a priority. Where it’s normal for mothers to look after their bodies because body is a temple. If you don’t look after your body, you’ll have nowhere to live. I really dream about the world where healthy, active and happy mothers are not being judged but respected for being role models for their children and motivation and inspirations to the ones around.  

Are you with me?

 

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To find out how I can help you reach your health and life goals click HERE

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5 Life Lessons I Learned From My Mother

My mother, my role model, my friend, my hero. She taught me what’s important in life and had such a huge impact on who I’m today. I’m forever grateful for having her in my life.

Friendships need to be nourished

She always said that people are making our life beautiful, we can see the most wonderful places, do the most extraordinary things but if we have no one to share it with, we won’t enjoy it that much. Friendships need to be nourished, friends to be appreciated, so making time for them, to be together is huge. Some of my mother’s friends she met when she was a child and she still keeps those friendship. I’ve always admired her for this. She showed me what friends for life really mean.

Go and explore the world

I remember her saying “things you buy may not last long but places you see will stay with you forever “. She always found money for me to be able to travel. Thanks to her and my dad, I had the opportunity to see amazing places, tasting variety of cuisines, meeting wonderful people, discovering how wonderful this world is. She was so right, nobody can take those experiences from me. Ever

Do what you love doing

Even though not always she agreed with my choices, she’s never forced me doing it her way. She let me make my own mistakes and learn from them. She let me make my own decisions, even though her heart was saying the other way. She always believed in me and encouraged me to follow my passions and go for my dreams.

Respect education, work and money

She’s always told me to respect teachers and focus on my education. She’s paid for all extra courses I wanted to undertake, for my English lessons and now I’m living in English speaking country, having my business in English… She’s always told me to work with 100% commitment and do what I love doing. She’s always told me to respect money and be grateful for everything I already have. Life won’t give us more until we appreciate what we’ve got.

Have more than one child

She lost her parents in her early 20’s and at that time she made a decision to have another baby. She didn’t want me to grow up on my own. So, when I was 6 years old, my sister was born and I’m forever grateful for having her in my life. Our mother taught us to love each other, to respect each other, to always be there for each other.

My mother is the integral part of who I’m today and I can say that she’s done an amazing job. There’s a saying that you can’t choose your family, well, if I could I would still choose her as my mother, without a doubt.

My dearest Mother – Thank you for Life, Life – Thank you for my Mother.

 

If you liked this post please share it with other mums, they may need it and like it as much as you do. You can find Active Happy Mama on Facebook or follow me on Instagram.

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Being a MUM…

Being a mum… is perceived as the most wonderful thing that can ever happen to a woman. Everywhere we go we see adverts and pictures with happy mummies and smiley babies, emphasizing that motherhood is nothing but rainbows, joy, and happiness.

 

 

Being a mum… is not always as wonderful as we expected it to be…

Being a mum…is a giant roller coaster; one moment we’re feeling you’re on top of the world and the next moment we’re crying your eyes out feeling completely powerless!

Being a mum…is challenging, our human nature is tested to its limits. Sleep deprivation, constant feeding, and nappy changing, being busy all the time but, at the end of the day it looks like nothing has been done – but we are exhausted!

Being a mum…is repeating same things all over again and sometimes wondering whether our life is always going to be this way…

Being a mum…is neglecting our needs, our wants, our hobbies, our time to relax as we feel that there are just not enough hours in a day.

Being a mum…is sometimes wanting to run away in a place where no one (especially our child) can find us.

Being a mum…is then feeling remorse for even thinking that way, blaming ourselves for being a bad mother.

Being a mum…is lonely sometimes, with all those worries and insecurities playing in our head but feeling embarrassed to say them out loud…

 

AT THE SAME TIME

Being a mum…is the most wonderful gift that we could ever get, it is indeed the most wonderful thing that can ever happen to a woman.

Being a mum…fills up our heart and our life with unconditional love, the one that we never thought possible, the one we’ve never experienced before. Mother’s love for a child is unique, and it is the most beautiful.

Being a mum…is so much joy, laughter and having fun together.

 

Being a mum…is learning and growing every day to be a better mum, a better woman, a better person, to be the best role model for our child and the strong foundation for the entire family.

Being a mum…is going back to our childhood, playing like kids, singing kids songs, seeing the world through kids eyes and experiencing miracles.

 

Being a mum is…rewarding – watching the growth and development of our child, how from babies they become more independent, turning into a little boy or a girl and then into a man or a woman.

Being a mum… is melting our heart with the smile on our child’s face or him or her asking for a hug and saying “I love you, mummy.”

 

Being a mum…is finding that super power that you can rock the world, problems that existed before don’t seem so challenging anymore, things that we thought are impossible to sort out – now we do them easily.

Being a mum…is uncovering that inner strength, being able to fight for our child no matter what. If our baby is sad, crying, needs advice, help, we always come running, we are always there.

 

Being a mum…is feeling grateful for every single moment spent with our child, for every smile, for every touch, for every smell, for every word, for every question, for every play, for every dance, for every “mummy help”, for every “mummy look”, for every “mmmmuuuuummmmmmyyyyyy”

Being a mum…is changing life’s perspective, with now different priorities, values, beliefs.

 

Being a mum…is a miracle, how on earth is it possible to create another human being inside our body, how is it possible to give birth…to shape their character and prepare them to explore life’s journey…

Being a mum…is feeling appreciation to our mums, who brought us onto this world, went through every single challenge, every struggle, often we gave them a hard time but they stayed strong and shaped us into great adults. There are no words to describe how we admire you, now as being mums ourselves, so much more. To my best mum ever and all amazing mums – we thank you from the bottom of our heart.

 

Thank you, MUM, for giving me my life, thank you, MUM, for showing me life, thank you, MUM, for shaping my life, thank you, MUM, for being in my life.

Thank you my SON for coming into my life, thank you my SON for changing my life, thank you my SON for letting me show you life, thank you my SON for being in my life.

As a DAUGHTER and as a MUM I feel so grateful, you both are the world to me, and I love you both so much.

To All the Wonderful Mums out there – you are beautiful, you are amazing, you are enough, you are doing the most demanding job of all, and you are doing it so well. You are a hero to your child, and you need to be a hero to yourself. Never think otherwise.

Happy Mother’s Day

 

If you liked this post, please share it with other mums, they may need it and like it as much as you do. You can find Active Happy Mama on Facebook or follow me on Instagram.

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Secrets of Happy Mums

Have you ever noticed how some mums seem to be very contented in their role as mothers, and others seem chronically stressed? Why is that some mums can keep their sense of humour, while others overreact to the slightest stressors in their day?

We all have bad days, one moment we are feeling on top of the world, other we are crying our eyes out with powerlessness. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.

There are mums, who just seem to be happy regardless of how many challenges they must face daily. How do they do that? After spending time in their company, you will notice those little things that are making a BIG difference. All happy mums seem to have few things in common.

Let’s dive in and join the club of Happy Mums:

  1. Happy mum doesn’t mean perfect mum

You can be happy, or you can be perfect, you can’t have both…Are you a control freak, perfectionist? Great, but when you have a child your very well organized world turns upside down. Either you accept it and let it go, or you will constantly be sweating over anything, and you will drive yourself crazy …the choice is yours.

  1. Happy mum cherishes the moment

Most people, in general, don’t live in the moment, they either live in the past, or they worry about their future. Why, what for? Mark Twain said:’ I’ve had many worries in my life, most of which never happened”. As a mum, you can witness all the wonderful moments of your baby’s development, cherish those moments as they will pass and never come back. Time flies. Days are long but the years short. Learning how to live in a moment, especially when things get difficult, is a mandatory skill for a new mum. When your baby is not well, you may forget about that trip you planned for a long time.

  1. Happy mum takes care of herself

Being a mum doesn’t let you stop looking after yourself and taking care of yourself. Now it’s even more important as you can’t pour from an empty bucket. Take responsibility for yourself, don’t blame the baby for that extra weight or your bad eating habits. Dress nicely, buy sexy underwear, put a mask on your face, have your hair or nails done. Focus on good nutrition, exercises, rest, positive mindset. Keep doing the things for your body and mind that you enjoyed doing before the baby was born.

  1. Happy mum doesn’t care what others think

When you have your child, you are exposed to be given THE BEST advice from everybody. They know better what is best for your child as you have no experience whatsoever. Whether it is your mum in law who is convinced that what worked for her 30 years ago, will be the best option for you now or a stranger who gives you disapproving glare when you let your child explore the world… it doesn’t matter. You can’t please everybody. Do not give too much attention to the opinions of people who don’t live in your home and don’t spend 24/7 with your baby. Trust your instincts, this is your child after all, and you know best what’s good for him or her.

  1. Happy mum has “something else.”

It may be a hobby like running, dancing, photography or part time home based business. Being able to escape to your world from time to time, having that “ME Time” is not only healthy for you, but it is also healthy for the relationship with your child. Enjoy the things you loved doing before you had a baby, make time for it, you will come back as a better mum, a better partner, and a better person.

  1. Happy mum asks for help

Showing off how much of a superwoman you are as you can do it ALL ON YOUR OWN doesn’t serve you, doesn’t serve your child and doesn’t serve your family. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage. There are many people around you that would love to be of help; you just need to ask for it. Give yourself a break and be grateful for the ones around you.

  1. Happy mum does exercise and provide her body with healthy and nutritious food

Again, being a mum doesn’t let you stop looking after yourself. If you don’t take care of your body, you will have nowhere to live. Now you are not only responsible for yourself but this little angel as well. To cope with the ups and downs of motherhood, you need to be in good form physically. Plus carrying your baby around when she/he gets heavier requires you to be strong. Also, when you

  1. Happy mum spends quality time with her partner

Being a mum doesn’t let you stop being a partner/wife. Giving all the attention to the baby and neglecting your partner won’t do any good to your relationship. Taking time during the week to have “quality time” with your spouse is crucial if you want your relationship to grow. During this quality timeshare and discuss your feelings, worries, anxieties, hopes…open your heart to your partner and let him open his to you. You child will be happy if he/she has happy parents.

 

  1. Happy mum has positive attitude to life

Each moment you have a choice whether you want to blame, complain, moan, criticize, or you want to be responsible for your own happiness. You are the one who creates your life; it’s like a blank canvas, you can paint it in whatever colours you want. Do you wish other people well? Are you happy when people around you succeed? Do you smile often? How do people feel around you? Is it better to be positive or negative? It’s all karma, whatever you give, will come back to you.

  1. Happy mum spends time with her girlfriends

Spending time with your girlfriends doesn’t mean talking about nappies, teething or potty training. Going out with your girlfriends means time off from being a mummy, whether it’s just for a couple of hours, for a night out or a weekend away. Being surrounded by wise women who know you like no one else is a gift. Talking about your feelings (yes, we ladies like to talk about feelings :)) without being judged, asking for advice, singing, dancing or hiking together or just spending time in bed in your pyjamas laughing out loud. Being together, understanding each other, having fun together. It’s unbelievable how much you can recharge your batteries.

 

  1. Happy mum is grateful

We tend to take many things for granted. There are people out there who can’t see or hear or talk, have no legs, no arms…there are people out there who live on $1 a day, there are people out there who can’t have children…Appreciation for everything you have in your life is essential if you want to feel happy. Life won’t give you more until you are grateful for what you already have. Do this simple exercise – make a list of all the things you are grateful in life and read it daily, it will change your life…guaranteed.

I suggest you read this post, again and again, check out what you can do to implement some of those tips. After all every singe one of us wants to be happy. Our kids want to have happy mummies too.

If you liked this posts share it with other mums, they may benefit from it too. You can also find Active Happy Mama on Facebook or follow me on Instagram.